A Toast!

Saluting this week's heroes from around the 'net

By The Editors

The Guys Behind "Christmas For Stoners"
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18 September 2015

After Scotch consumption and heated debates over the greatest movie villains of all time, reading the internet is arguably the most popular pasttime at InsideHook HQ. Throughout said reading, your correspondents can often be heard exclaiming "Check out this hero." Sometimes said hero is an actual humanity-benefiting do-gooder. Sometimes it's just a girl who elected to take her senior portraits in Taco Bell. Either way, we decided to bring you the best from around the 'net each week. Here they be.

For Staying Irie…

Who: The State of Colorado

What: Became the first state to generate more tax revenue from marijuana than alcohol, raking in a cool $70M in the last fiscal year. A figure that, as it "exceeded government estimates," resulted in a one-time day-long tax break on pot.

Why: Because anything that causes the New York Times to publish the phrase "Christmas for stoners" is a win in our book.

For Getting With the Times…

Who: The State of Alabama

What: Finally updated its educational science standards to require that students understand evolution and learn about climate change (though, it bears noting they are not required to believe in either).

Why: Because these are things that, you know, exist.

For Outstanding Achievements in Streisand Effecting…

Who: Kim Davis

What: A new ABC News/Washington Post poll shows that 74% of Americans now believe that "when a conflict arises, the need to treat everyone equally under the law is more important than someone’s religious beliefs," up from 56% in July. This was presumably not the effect Davis intended by refusing to issue same-sex marriage licenses in Kentucky.

Why: Because the thought of someone relaying this information to Davis kinda makes the whole debacle worthwhile.

For Nerdery of the Highest Order…

Who: Various scientists

What: For the 25th year in a row, Harvard University hosted the "Ig Nobels," an award ceremony celebrating "ridiculous scientific discoveries with pratical applications."

Why: Because while we never would have doubted it, it's still nice to have concrete scientific proof that one's penis ranks among the most painful places to be stung by a bee.

For Major Cajones…

Who: Gee Atherton

What: Tackled this year's Red Bull Hardline mountain bike track to test it prior to the official competition

Why: Because being the guinea pig for something this hairy redefines the word "ballsy."

And For Epic Good Humor…

Who: This amputee

What: Dressing up as a zombie and scaring the bejeezus out of unsuspecting elevator passengers.

Why: Because lack of limbs should never stand in the way of a solid prank.

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