Get These Damn Kids and Their Skiboards Off My Mountain!

Whoever dug up this video from 1985 is a legend

By Walker Loetscher

 
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30 September 2016

Do yourself a favor and watch this video.

Not just because it's hilarious (which it is, extraordinarily so), but because it features one of the great antagonists of modern cinema.

His name? No one knows. All we know is he's a septuagenarian ski mountain operator and he really wants these darn rapscallions and their "skateboards or skiboards or whatever they're called" off his white snowy lawn.

Just look at this guy. What a gem. The bushy eyebrows. The absolute and total disdain in his voice. The refusal to even acknowledge his nemeses' hobby by its proper name. There is approximately a 99% chance that the local youths refer to this guy exclusively as "Old Man Something or Other" and trade ghost stories about him around the campfire. He's like every crotchety old '80s movie villain rolled into one.

And that's before you even get to his understudy, a hotshot ski patrol with a cop mustache, a mock turtleneck and more old-school snow bunny swagger than you can shake a Croakie at. "Smart alecks," he rasps. "They tend to lip you off, even though they're endangering the public."

These guys are a f*cking riot. Someone look 'em up and do a retrospective for posterity's sake.

Actually I'm gonna go do that right now. We'll keep you posted.

Happy Friday.

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