Happy Birthday Twitter! Here Are Your First 10 Years in 35 Tweets.

Farts, d*ck jokes and Seinfeld. What else?

By The Editors

 
Happy Birthday Twitter! Here Are Your First 10 Years in 35 Tweets.
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15 July 2016

Twitter, aka the soapbox of the Internet, turns 10 today, and despite its superlative importance as a source for breaking news and commentary, we can't lie:

We mostly go there for the d*ck jokes and memes. No shame in that. (It's the internet after all, not a church.)

So to celebrate the first decade of its hopefully long life, we tapped our editors for a few (actually, seven) of their favorite handles.  

Enjoy. 

@ChillSitch
The world is complex and cruel and chaotic. But not @chillsitch. Chill Sitch is summertime all the time. Chill Sitch finds silver linings in silver linings. Chill Sitch is a meditation on the winky-face emoticon, 140 characters or fewer at a time. And for a few brief moments in 2014, Chill Sitch was something everyone could agree on. (Walker Loetscher)

 

@Fart
The puerile brilliance of Twitter is perfectly encapsulated in Jon Hendren's account @fart. Off Twitter, he's a software developer who occasionally trolls TV networks (e.g., going on CNN to talk about Edward Snowden but only speaking on Edward Scissorhands). On social media, he's a pioneer of the "Weird Twitter" movement: self-referential, purposely bizarre and often hilarious. (Kirk Miller)

 

@DadBoner
Karl Welzein is Michigan man who lives in his car and loves nothing more than to relax with a cold brewski, play Bob Seger in the background and tweet about life. He also doesn't exist. Created by comedian Mike Burns, Welzein and his @DadBoner account is the perfect place to turn for 'Merican musings about life, cold ones and fake quotes from Jesus. (Evan Bleier)

 

@KimKierkegaard
If you follow Kim Kardashian, my guess is you don't follow Kim Kierkegaardashian, but you should. Nothing else so seamlessly mashes the existential quandaries of Soren Kierkegaard with the daily musings of Kim K. Also happens to be a pretty great #Politics account to follow. (Michael Nolledo)

 

@SeinfeldToday
A decade in and Twitter can now answer any question pointed at it: What's happening this minute around the world? What does my favorite B-list celebrity eat for breakfast? What if Seinfeld were still on the air? @SeinfeldToday answers that last one so convincingly you'd think it was Larry David catfishing us all. Full episodes, characters' distinct vocal affectations and mania included, in 140 characters or less.  (Athena Wisotsky)

 

@FatherJohnMisty
Father John Misty is about the same amount an asshole as he is a celebrity — that is, not massively, but not insignificantly either. Also hyper aware of both, which is what makes his Twitter (where he has adopted the moniker Farmer Jah Misery) so funny — whether he's inserting himself into whatever music industry narrative happens to be trending, retweeting vitriol for the Snapchat dog face filter or penning absurdist haikus for shits and gigs.  (Danny Agnew)

 

 

@JennyJohnsonHi5
I see the world mostly in Venn diagrams. Like a diagram of people with neck tattoos and people playing tonsil hockey on the subway: actually, that's just a circle. A diagram of adult men on razor scooters and adult men who don't have to pay for sex: that one's owl eyes. My beloved Jenny Johnson has the same tendency, but she's a real asshole. Such a bully that she turns other comedians into crybabies. But her confrontational rebelliousness is refreshing and clever amid a sea of PC-ness and positive affirmations. She's brassy and likely would have beaten the s*** out of me in high school. But it's Twitter, people: don't go let 140 characters cut too deep now. (Shari Gab)

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