Pedro Almodóvar Wants to Know If You’re Horny

The filmmaker called friends to "check on the state of their sexual appetites" during quarantine

Pedro Almodóvar
This man is not horny.
Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images
By Kayla Kibbe / April 20, 2020 1:23 pm

While reports of quarantine-era horniness have been circulating for weeks, experts — by which I mean people who write about sex on the internet — disagree as to just how horny a time this really is. Some have qualified that while women are horny, men are not. Meanwhile, others argue that this time is actually an objectively unhorny one, including Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodóvar, who recently entered the horny coronavirus discourse with an essay in which he bemoans the loss of his sex drive to coronavirus woes.

“My libido has abandoned me since the isolation started,” he wrote. “I suppose that sadness and worry have displaced erotic fantasies.”

The director went on to add that, concerned for the horniness of his fellow man, he reached out to a number of friends, both male and female,”in order to check on the state of their sexual appetites.” With the exception of one desperate friend who was apparently making plans to hook up with people he’d met online in grocery store bathrooms, Almodóvar’s friendly horniness check-in seemed to reveal that many of his friends were also suffering from a reduced sex drive.

“In general the pandemic and its resulting isolation has reduced the erotic needs of the majority of people I phoned,” he wrote.

A low sex drive may be a bummer in ordinary times, but given the fact that hookups are potentially risky and difficult to come by (unless you’re willing to bone in a grocery store bathroom), a low libido may actually be a blessing in disguise these days. Quarantine horniness was getting exhausting anyway. Maybe it’s time we stopped being so horny on main and instead go back to using the internet for its original purpose: being miserable and insane, as god and nature intended.

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