Times are tough, and with many people out of work due to the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic, many have no choice but to pick up work where they can get it.
Unfortunately for one unlucky L.A. job-seeker, that may end up meaning taking a job as the personal assistant to whatever unnamed but purportedly mega-famous YouTuber posted this insane job description, first spotted by the New York Times‘ Taylor Lorenz.
The job post, which claims to describe a “part-time” gig, makes a number of absurd demands of hopeful candidates, who are expected to “compartmentalize emotion and remain professional, calm, hardworking, and quiet at all times.”
In addition to handling scheduling and social media analytics, the winning candidate will also be in charge of waking the client — described as “a well-known celebrity/influencer with 10+ million followers” — each day with coffee and daily agenda, handling “all personal day-to-day tasks,” inexplicably unpacking the clients bags “constantly,” and otherwise being on call “almost 24/7” and planning to “generally expect to be with the client all the time.” Again, this is described as a “part-time” opportunity, one that pays around $25-$30 an hour.
👀👀👀 https://t.co/pwnPXrHMlB pic.twitter.com/rjAO2lnpp1
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) July 31, 2020
But the extreme demands of the candidates’ time and energy are far from the most jaw-dropping expectations hopeful candidates are expected to meet. Most importantly, this employee must be willing to divorce themselves entirely from their own emotional needs and personal life. According to the description, the employee must “keep all emotion/private life matters completely away from this world” and simply “remove emotion, handle intense conversations, and bounce back instantly from any mistakes without emotion.”
Oh, by the way, “You must remain sober yet social and inviting in very high profile environments,” and “you cannot take photos, post photos to social media, or be driven by fame.” And in case there were any doubt about this whatsoever, opportunities for time off are “minimal.”
So if you’re a robotic psychopath with an Adderall addiction and no capacity to experience emotion, your dream job awaits!
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