The Apostrophe Protection Society Is Officially Shutting Down

"Ignorance and laziness have won."

apostrophe protection society
The Apostrophe Protection Society is done trying to save you from your grammatical sins.
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By Kayla Kibbe / December 3, 2019 12:11 pm

A society dedicated to protecting proper use of the apostrophe is shutting down after a nearly 20-year battle against grammatical ignorance.

Retired journalist John Richards started the society back in 2001 to help preserve the “much abused” punctuation mark, but is now disbanding the organization, claiming that “ignorance has won,” CNN reported.

“With regret I have to announce that, after some 18 years, I have decided to close the Apostrophe Protection Society,” said Richards, who explained that the decision was based primarily on two reasons: “One is that at 96 I am cutting back on my commitments and the second is that fewer organisations and individuals are now caring about the correct use of the apostrophe in the English Language.”

Prior to shuttering on Monday, the society’s website featured three simple rules for apostrophe use:

  1. “It’s” is only correct as a contraction of “it is”, and an apostrophe would not be correct even in the possessive form.
  2. “You’re” means “you are”, and should not be confused with “your”, despite sounding the same.
  3. Apostrophes are never used for plurals.

The website also made it clear that its intent was not to halt the evolution of the English language or shame careless apostrophe users, but rather to “remind all writers of English text … of the correct usage of the apostrophe should you wish to put right mistakes you may have inadvertently made.”

Unfortunately, we have proven too careless to be worth the apostrophe society’s time and effort anymore. Like a weary parent who finally decides to let natural selection run its course, Richards is leaving us free to live a blissfully ignorant life of chaotic punctuation.

“We, and our many supporters worldwide, have done our best,” said Richards. “But the ignorance and laziness present in modern times have won.”

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