Arts & Entertainment | January 20, 2021 11:56 am

Women Are “Way Hotter” Than Men, According to Miley Cyrus

The star got candid about male genitals and their aesthetic shortcomings

miley cyrus
No offense, but Miley Cyrus thinks your scrotum is ugly.
Vijat Mohindra/MTV VMAs 2020/Vijat Mohindra/MTV VMAs 2020 via Getty Images

Look, I’m not saying your balls are ugly. Miley Cyrus, though, is.

During a recent appearance on Sirius XM’s Barstool Radio, the star got candid about male genitalia, sharing some pointed thoughts about how certain parts of the male body compare to the female form. According to Cyrus, there’s a clear winner: “Everyone knows that tits are prettier than balls.”

One might question whether tits to balls is really a fair comparison, but regardless, the latter’s lack of aesthetic appeal is presumably part of what makes women “way hotter” than men, in Cyrus’s opinion. While the star identifies as queer, according to Cosmopolitan UK, and has been in high-profile relationships with both men and women, her recent comments made it clear she prefers the aesthetic of her female-bodied partners. “That’s what ended up making female relationships make more sense to me,” Cyrus added.

But while balls may not be much to look at, the artist said the penis isn’t without visual appeal. “Dicks make wonderful sculptures,” said Cyrus. “I like dicks as art pieces … I love the shape, I think it looks really good on a table.”

While a dick on a table may not be a particularly familiar visual to many of us, Cyrus’s vision of genitals as decor aligns with other recent commentary from the star, who has also shared that she likes to decorate her home with sex toys. “I like sex toys,” Cyrus said on the same radio show. “I buy them for myself, but I end up using them for interior design. Sex and interior design go actually hand in hand.”

Cyrus isn’t the only queer woman with a preference for boobs over balls. In a 2013 article titled simply “Balls Ugly,” an advice-seeker wrote to the The L Magazine explaining that while she identifies as bisexual, she “tend[s] to connect better sexually with women,” largely because, “I just find penises and balls ugly.”

Apparently this is a pretty common opinion. While I’m not generally in the business of body-shaming, there seems to be some evidence to suggest the scrotum is considered almost universally ugly. Back in 2016, the organizer of the “world’s first balls beauty contest” was dismayed to find out the world saw little beauty in balls at all.

“Given the scrotum’s important biological function of holding and protecting the life-giving testicles, I figured the public saw beauty in it, but never discussed it, preferring perhaps to talk about the penis instead,” said contest organizer Brian Sloan in a press release at the time. “Now I know why the scrotum has always lived in the shadows: because people think it’s ugly.”

Miley Cyrus, for one, would agree.

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