A SciFi Cruise Ship for People Who Hate Cruise Ships

David Foster Wallace famously dubbed going on a cruise “a supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again.”

But DFW wasn’t aboard the MORPHotel, a half-mile-long floating luxury hotel concept that is equal parts Halo, Sphere and Ritz Carlton. The brainchild of engineer/architect Gianluca Santosuosso, MORPHotel is structured around — but not anchored by — a flexible “vertebral spine” that shifts and contorts with the motion of the ocean.

The luxury lodging will move leisurely between ports and also serve as a safe harbor for other vessels by contorting itself into “an artificial bay” that provides shelter to other boats and ships out on assignment.

Once docked, the “floatel” will open up to allow residents of whatever city it’s currently docked at to come aboard and enjoy the amenities, take in a flick or grab a bite to eat in a restaurant serving food produced at the hotel’s vegetable garden — yes, the ship is a floating farm as well.

Santosuosso and his team plan to fuel the “artificial organism” by collecting solar energy from panels installed along the ship’s hull and using the movement of waves against either end of the ship’s spine to produce power.

As for when to expect its maiden voyage?

Don’t hold your breath. Especially underwater.