9 Tips for Going Bald (at Least Somewhat) Gracefully
I started losing my hair in my mid-twenties. Started shaving my head at least 15 years ago. Long story short, I’m about as used to a shiny pate as any man will ever be.
But I’m not here to tell you it’s all good, no biggie, blah blah blah. For me, most days are fine. Other days, it sucks. And I know that for most guys in my boat, it at the very least rankles from time to time.
Which is why I’ve decided to share a few of my best practices for confidently navigating chrome-dome life. I’m certainly no guru, but as previously stated, I’ve been at this awhile.
Note: not all of this is going to apply to everyone. But some of it should help some of you, and if I can help a few more bald men step confidently into the night, I think that’s plenty.
Without further ado …
1. Shave Your Head Already
Seriously, join us. It’s the most freeing thing ever and 99% of balding dudes look better and feel more confident the second they bite the tonsorial bullet and buzz (or bic) their head. Plus — and I feel like no one talks about this enough — it is CRAZY convenient. Showers, haircuts, emerging from literally any body of water … so many things cease to be a concern.
2. Get in Shape
Once you’ve mowed the upstairs lawn, keep the momentum going and work on the rest of your person. Easier said than done, I know, but initiating an image change is a powerful confidence booster. Plus buff and bald is just a cool looking combo. If you’re in the market for a regimen, I’ve been working a program developed by Chris Hemsworth’s trainer and feeling the results.
3. Learn to Dress Well
You may notice a trend here, which is that we’re trying to put together a nice overall package, which is what people really see when they look at you. Look at Mark Strong, Jason Statham, The Rock, Tyrese — all fit, all dress well, all look undeniably cool (particularly in well-tailored suits, which for some reason really work for us baldies). And you don’t need to have a Hollywood stylist to put it together, you just need to pay attention. Follow a couple menswear-focused Instagram accounts (like this one or this one). Take cues from stylish cats like the above Tinseltown Quartet. And, you know, keep reading InsideHook — our style coverage is dope.
4. Get a Tan
I know I’m gonna catch hell for this because the sun is evil and dangerous and you’re not supposed to, but even just a little color goes a LONG way. Just sayin.
5. Invest in Good Cologne
Again, going back to the overall package concept: scent has such a powerful impact on people, and honestly being told you smell nice is every bit as good as being told you look nice. Different olfactory strokes for different folks, but Le Labo’s scents have elicited compliments for me from total strangers, which must be a good sign.
6. Get Tattoos? Maybe?
Listen, I know this one in particular ain’t in the cards for many fellas, but I stand by the assertion that tattoos on bald dudes look way more boss. If you decide to join me on this route, just stick to black ink. It looks more consistent, it ages better — actually, you know what, this is a whole ‘nother article entirely. Stay tuned.
7. Wear Sunglasses
Don’t ask me why, this just works for us. Plenty of handsome options to be found here.
8. Have a Puff
To be fair, this isn’t so much advice on dealing with baldness specifically, more just my go-to fix for anything that’s bothering me — like, say, my complete and utter lack of head hair. For the cheeba-averse, might I suggest a meticulously researched, wonderfully written treatise on the zen effects of CBD?
9. Remember That Literally No One Cares as Much as You Do
Long story short, everyone has their own sh*t going on. No one is ever going to stare at your head a tenth as hard as you do in the mirror. More than any other piece of advice on this list, I cannot stress enough the power of just smiling and being kind. That’s what people really respond to and remember.
Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images