Chez Crafty

Fruitcake: comedy staple. A recipe that predates Moses. And a holiday food gift that will. Not. Die. Because nobody’s thought of anything better.

Until now. Give a tasty, non-fruitcake-ian food gift this season, courtesy of Mantry.

Started by a couple of veteran restaurateurs (including a former French Laundry chef), Mantry is a subscription craft food service that sources regional foods from around the world into one monthly package o’ goods.

Those packages include 6-8 full-sized items and come in a Prohibition-style wooden box that you’ll need to, Nucky-style, pry open with a crowbar.

Inside, you’ll find a cornucopia of worldly deliciousness: Norwegian reindeer jerky. Oaxacan Hot Chocolate. Dragon’s Blood Elixir hot sauce (from Connecticut, no less). All perfect for consumption — or regifting.

The boxes come in themes — e.g., “Bourbon Breakfast”, a non-Old Fashioned style brunch with bourbon-y maple syrup, pancake mix, jams, etc.

Each box is also accompanied by a printed Manual, covering each item’s cheeky backstory (“Rummaging around remote Georgia wilderness wasn’t such good idea for the gents from Deliverance, but [for] Nora Mills Granary…”).

While there’s a waitlist to join, non-members can buy a one-time holiday gift box; order before December 10th for delivery by Christmas Eve.

Otherwise, you’ll be stuck with the “classics.”