Home Goods | September 6, 2016 9:00 am

Sony Unveils the Gold-Plated $3,200 Walkman Nobody Asked For

It may be a golden oldie, but it's not a goodie

If watching Stranger Things has induced enough nostalgia that you think Sony’s new redesign of the Walkman is actually a good idea that’s worth spending money on, we have a suggestion:

Cease and desist watching Stranger Things. Immediately.

Billed as a high-end revision of the new Walkman introduced for playing lossless audio files last year, the NW-WM1Z is gold-plated audio player. It will be available in early 2017. For $3,200.

Part of the company’s new Signature Series, the golden Walkman has a four-inch touchscreen and 256 GB of storage space. It employs oxygen-free copper — normally used in instrument manufacturing — to increase conductivity.

“The Signature Series devices push sound to an entirely new level—taking the headphone experience from ‘listening’ to ‘feeling,’” Sony explained in a news release about the new line.

That’s all good, but unless you’re an audiophile, one with, say, an incurable medical condition that can only be treated with lossless audio, dropping $3k on a Walkman sounds dumb, no matter how amazing the thing sounds.

P.S. It doesn’t even play cassettes!