Home & Design | July 18, 2016 9:00 am

Paris Has a Floating Hotel and You Should Probably Go Have Sex in It

Romance will never be this easy

In the hierarchy of romantic places, “Paris,” “boat” and “five-star hotel” all rank somewhere in the top, let’s say, conservatively, 30.

Naturally, some lust-hungry Don Juan decided that wasn’t enough, and created this Frankensteinian love manor: Off Paris Seine, a floating hotel and bar that combines all the above.

At the already bustling purlieu, guests can lounge aside an unpretentious pool and sip cocktails as boats and the day glide by down the River Seine. To note: there’s no river swimming yet, but that’s looking to change come 2024.

Inside, the 58-room guesthouse boasts both Left Bank and Right Bank rooms as well as two wildly vibrant Horizon Suites at the vessel’s bow. There’s a tapas lounge festooned with 8,800 squares of metal suspended from the ceiling, reflecting light to and fro as it dances off the water.

By day, get your culture fix without traveling far, as Off Paris is just a stone’s throw from the soon-to-be en vogue Cité de la mode et du design, a neighborhood dedicated to fashion and design filled with forward-thinking art and architecture.

Then again, you might just want to stay in your room for the duration.

Ahem: Do Not Disturb.