Arts & Entertainment | August 8, 2014 9:00 am

Status Update

By The Editors

As he ages, every Chicagoan faces a challenge.

As he builds a career, as he invests in startups and competes to earn the attention of women and envy of friends, he simply has to find more refined ways to say “Neener, neener, neener.”

These are those ways: Look at All My Sh*t! Chicago Status Symbols, Ranked.

These are symbols only Chicagoans understand.

Ever watch the Bears from a Skyline Suite?

Is there, somewhere, a skyscraper with your name on it?

And do the citizens of this city respect it?

Each of those symbols is in the rankings.

Don’t get us wrong. We’re not advocating pure, unadulterated, Trump Tower-esque greed. 

Really we’re just happy to be next in line at Hot Doug’s (RIP).

Enjoy the guide.