Arts & Entertainment | June 16, 2016 9:00 am

“Touchhole” and Nine More Wonderfully Dirty Words James Joyce Invented

Happy Bloomsday! Start talking like it.

Named after Ulysses protagonist Leopold Bloom and celebrated on the day (June 16th) the book takes place, Bloomsday is an annual celebration of all things James Joyce.

The Irish fabulist was probably best known for his command — or lack thereof — of the English language. When he couldn’t find a word to describe the (usually vulgar) person, place, thing or act that he wanted to describe to the reader, he made one up.

So in honor of Bloomsday, here are 10 dirty words and phrases Joyce coined or popularized you should be using.

  1. Cokenhape: A potent mixture of inebriating inhalants that will, scientifically speaking, F- you up.
  2. Smackwarm: Exact denotation unclear, but seems to be a good adjective for describing underpants. In context: “She let free sudden in rebound her nipped elastic garter smackwarm against her smackable woman’s warmhosed thigh.”
  3. Peloothered: Drunk, wasted, plastered, sh*t-canned, sloshed, ham-boned, blotto, lit.
  4. Touchhole: Use your imagination.
  5. Pornosophical: Of or relating to the philosophy of the brothel.
  6. Bugger Off: Go away, arsehole.
  7. Alcoholic Amblyopia: Issues with your eyes related to alcohol. I.e., beer goggles.
  8. Sausaged (v.): Subjecting a person or thing to treatment reminiscent of the manufacture or shape of a sausage.
  9. Wonderworker: A remedy for rectal complaints that worked via insertion.
  10. Quaffoff: A beer-drinking contest.

Main image courtesy of the Poetry Foundation