Arts & Entertainment | July 11, 2016 9:00 am

The Internet Is Slowly Killing You. This Beautiful Chart Shows How.

Warning: You might have a case of “critical flaccidity”

Dear web surfers:

Are you suffering from hollow flow? Infogestion? Computational bleed?

The short answer is: Those are made up. But you probably have them.

That’s the conclusion of David McCandless, a London-based data journalist who runs Information is Beautiful, a fantastic blog that visualizes big-picture ideas and statistics with “a minimum of words.” (Exception: No pie charts. He hates pie charts.)

During research for his 2014 book Knowledge is Beautiful, McCandless felt the dire effects of intense screen use, and began to catalog tech- and internet-induced mental disorders according to three broad categories: behavior patterns, impulse control and dependency issues.

The resulting charticle, “Intermental,” serves as a sort of “Warning: Do you have these symptoms?” sign for people who spend too much time online.

Among your possible online ailments:

Smart Tick: “Compulsion to fill any momentary lull in stimulus or social contact with smartphone activity.”

Ampulsivity: “In ordinary life, impulses are limited … online, impulses can be enacted without resistance.”

Info-craving: “Dopamine vacuum in the brain’s pleasure centres drives a restless need for more information”

F.O.M.O.: “A low-level, itchy background anxiety around the possibility of something happening online that you’re not privy to.”

The cure?

Get outside. Enjoy a Slurpee.