By The Editors / January 8, 2014 9:00 am

Hey. Hey everybody. [Waves hands in the air.]

Dan Savage — noted sex columnist and auteur of bumping uglies — is bringing the annual Hump! Festival to SF next month, and tickets are on sale now.

Hosted and curated by Mr. Savage Love himself, the Hump! Tour is a loving take on the venerable — nay, respectable — homemade erotica bonanza called Hump!, which has been titillating sex-positive Pacific Northwesterners since 2005.

The Hump! Tour distills the whole affair down to Savage’s favorite fifteen pics.

Why you care:

A. You like sex.

B. The Hump! Festival has been referred to by at least one person as “the Portlandia of porn.”

C. This is your chance to see what it’s all about without being the guy who drove to Oregon or Washington to peep dirty movies.

D. Dan Savage.

Unconvinced? Here’s an NSFW teaser for your toleration.

Nota bene: some of these flicks aren’t for everyone. In fact, it’s not clear that a couple are for anyone at all, but there’s time to get psyched up between grabbing your seats and next month’s curtain.