Films for the Very Curious

Your sexual peccadilloes are your own business.

Other people’s peccadilloes: their business.

But hey, some people like to share.

Now you can see those people in all their birthday-suited glory at the HUMP! Film Festival — a nationwide tour of artsy smut, now on tour.

Curated by renowned relationship columnist Dan Savage, the scribe behind Savage Love, HUMP! is a sex-positive event that reveals “the broad (and creative) range of human sexuality.”

Which means: no-holds-barred homemade movies, in five-minute, ahem, spurts.

“No limits or stipulations,” as the organizers say.

So expect some wildly diverse offerings.

Hump

Among the must-sees:

  • Beethoven’s Stiff: A penis conducts Beethoven’s Fifth. A vagina plays the French horn.
  • The Grocer: Will “change how you view grapes and carrots.” A “Best Kink” winner of 2014.
  • Cinderfella: Not the Jerry Lewis version.

The tour starts February 21st in Philadelphia, and then moves through San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Cleveland and 11 other cities.

Don’t worry: it’s OK to laugh (God knows that happens enough in our beds). Just go in with an open mind.

Don’t judge.

And keep your hands to yourself.