Arts & Entertainment | September 21, 2016 9:00 am

Pumpkin Spice Should “Drown in its Own Blood,” Bourdain Declares

Chef-turned-TV host pulverizes annoying food trends in new AMA

Never one to keep his opinions to himself, Anthony Bourdain was just as outspoken as ever while answering questions during a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) that just went down.

In addition to fielding questions on everything from the gluten-free craze and drinking beer with President Obama to craving Popeye’s mac n’ cheese, the chef/author/TV host also weighed in on pumpkin spice (not a fan) and tackled a question that’s plagued history’s greatest thinkers for years: Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Bourdain on the hot dog debate: “No. I don’t think it’s a sandwich. I don’t think a hamburger is a sandwich either. The fact that it’s in between bread–the bread is a delivery system, a ballistic delivery system. It is not a classic sandwich. If you were to talk into any vendor of fine hot dogs, and ask for a hot dog sandwich, they would probably report you to the FBI. As they should.”

Bourdain on his lunch with the president: “Rarely have I seen someone enjoy drinking a beer from the bottle as much as the president. He was generous with his time, quick to answer and he’s funny. He’s really good with chopsticks, which is always a plus in my mind.”

Bourdain on pumpkin spice and other food trends: “I would like to see the pumpkin spice craze drowned in its own blood. I’m pleased that there are now gluten-free options, but these people who are treating gluten as, you know, an equivalent of Al Qaeda are worrying to me. I’m also no big fan of the judgmental barista and beer nerds. I mean, I like a good craft, but don’t make me feel bad about my beer choices. You know what kind of beer I like? I like cold beer.”

Bourdain on craving mac n’ cheese: “I get these horrendous cravings for Popeye’s mac and cheese, and, uh, I will often disguise myself to try to slip into Popeyes. In a pinch, I will even go to the Colonel. I hate Twitter, because immediately they take a picture of me holding the evidence. It’s like getting caught coming out of a porn shop with a video in your arms.”

Bourdain on foods Americans should stop eating: “Do you really need pizza that’s stuffed with cheese? County faire novelty food? Deep-fried butter. We can eat a lot less deep-fried stuff, for sure. I’m not a big fan of the major fast-food chains. Anything that’s oversized. Giant jugs of soda. There is a restaurant in Vegas, I think it’s called The Heart Attack Grill, where if you are over 350 pounds you eat for free. I think that should be pretty much a war crime.”

Bourdain on what he’s made other than food: “I assisted in the making of a 9 year old girl. A birdhouse, a chest of drawers, I really wish I could do those things. Everything I ever made with my hand, you know it was food, it literally turned to shit in 8 hours. I’m really depressed now!”

While we agree with him on chopsticks, pumpkin spice and cold beer, we humbly submit this new creation as  a reason for him to rethink his hot dog answer.  And, if you’re hungry for more Bourdain, check out his YouTube series