Know by Heart
The world is divided into two camps:
Those who say they love Valentine’s Day, and those who’d rather stab their eyes out with the pointy end of a heart-shaped box.
But guess what. Doesn’t matter. The day exists. So here’s what you do:
You do her a kindness. Start with our Valentine’s Day Gift Guide.
That said: don’t be cloying. Don’t be sentimental. Those are the refuges of consumers beguiled by the Valentine’s Industrial Complex.
Avert your eyes from heart-shaped chocolates. Just say no to scented candles. Put out of your mind that somewhere, some poor sap is pouring his girlfriend a bubble bath made from sea salt and, like, the pec sweat of Ryan Gosling.
Just be yourself. And if all else fails, ask her what she wants.
Or text her best friend. That works too.
We’ll see you out there,