Advice | December 12, 2014 9:00 am

Say Hello to Stripper Santa

SantaCon Bingo: Can you spot the horrible?

By The Editors

As we’re going to press, the booze-soaked, bro-tastic bacchanalia known as SantaCon is still without an official home.

The drunken throng of St. Nicks, whiskey-swilling elves and, uh, stripper Kris Kringles had planned for Bushwick, but Bushwick said nay.

LES residents declared their hood a “SantaCon Free Zone.”

Smart folks.

But make no mistake — “changed format” or no, SantaCon will not be deterred. Tonight, SantaCon’s organizers will announce their planned destinations, and tomorrow they will descend.

So we made you this. It’s called SantaCon Bingo.

SantaCon Bingo is our fun (and informative!) guide to the various and sundry denizens laying waste to (and getting wasted in) the streets below.

Should SantaCon descend upon your neighborhood, well, we’re sorry. Truly, truly sorry. Stay indoors, fix yourself a drink, and wait for the Official SantaCon Sleigh (see: paddy wagon) to arrive.

And in the interim, play SantaCon Bingo.

Puking Santas! Urinating Elves! Bewildered children whose holiday innocence is besmirched before their very eyes!

How many can you spot?