Advice | December 2, 2020 8:46 am

Take It From a Woman: Letting Your Partner Give You a Facial Is the Hottest Thing You, a Man, Can Do

An at-home spa night will detoxify your skin AND your outdated notions of masculinity

This could be us, but toxic masculinity is playing.
This could be us, but toxic masculinity is playing.
PeopleImages/Getty Images

TikTok is inundated with tips on how you can become your best, most attractive, manliest self. From recommendations bordering on a-little-too-much-info to easy style fixes like sporting shorter shorts, many users on the video-sharing app unabashedly dole out insights to the male species on how to impress potential love interests or simply be better partners. 

In October, one particular NSFW sound that went viral was used to help facilitate these tips by insinuating any guy who participates in certain activities is … well-endowed. While there were tons of videos humorously describing acts that users felt embodied “Big Dick Energy,” there emerged a similar theme. Many viral TikToks that had garnered hundreds of thousands of likes depicted hypothetical situations where users asked their boyfriend or significant other if they could paint their nails, wax their eyebrows, give them a makeover or an at-home facial. After a resounding yes, this imaginary man was diagnosed with BDE and many commenters were wishing that they, too, could one day find a man who would happily let them put detoxifying goop all over his face. 

Much like the #5inchseam tag that persuaded men on the app to replace their baggy, knee-length shorts with much more flattering, thigh-bearing ones, all these TikToks are saying is that a man who doesn’t care if his partner puts a serum-loaded face mask on him and indulges in conventionally “unmasculine” grooming activities exudes confidence and secureness, and is therefore really hot. 

Of course, wearing short shorts, enjoying a spa day or painting your nails are not gender-specific activities, and it can feel a little silly to reward presumably heterosexual cis-men for not adhering to outdated cultural norms. But clearly we still live in a society where these ridiculous and very harmful ideas are still being pushed as the norm, so a little encouragement and flattery can go a long way.

Just a few weeks ago, perhaps the most sought-after heartthrob in the world, Harry-freakin’-Styles, became the subject of an inane Twitter discourse about masculinity after right-wing grifters Ben Shapiro and Candace Owens attempted to bash the musician for his Vogue cover shoot. If you missed it, Styles was the cover model for Vogue’s December issue, and he graced its pages in a number of stunning haute couture dresses. He looked like an ethereal angel — an ethereal angel you still wanted deeply to fuck. Yet “two of the internet’s worst citizens,” as Esquire appropriately dubbed them, attempted to call the shoot an attack on men, an attempt to “feminize masculinity” and that it was somehow a rallying cry for … Marxism? 

Luckily, though, many on Twitter were quick to call out the grift, noting that performers have been experimenting with gender norms and fashion for decades and seeing Styles in a dress isn’t an unusual sight to behold (uh, anyone remember Prince?). Additionally, historically “strong, macho” men have been wearing kilts, skirts and gowns for centuries and no one has ever questioned the manliness of the tunic-wearing Vikings. 

Now more than ever, men are less concerned with how they’ve been told to conform, and instead are acting and dressing however they please. Yet still we’re often subjected to awful people attempting to shame and emasculate them for simply being secure in their self-concept and bucking dumb ideas about gender and sexuality. So while it’s understandable that you may initially object to a proposed spa makeover from your significant other because of some deeply internalized toxic masculinity, I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t, for multiple reasons. 

One, as it’s been established, is that this will award you major points in the smokin’ hot department. Two, it’ll make your partner incredibly happy, which should make you incredibly happy. Three, getting pampered is relaxing, and why would you not want that? And four, having a face mask night or full-on spa day at home is wildly romantic, intimate and much-needed in these not-so-soothing times.

Plus if you document it on TikTok, there’s a good chance you’ll go viral, as the face mask date-night idea makes for popular content on the platform.

What’s even hotter, though? Surprising your partner with a thoughtful rejuvenation sesh you’ve planned yourself. Well, with a little help.

From sheet, lip and goopy masks to sensual massage oil and cozy robes, below you’ll find all the at-home spa necessities required to have a spa-worthy date night, one where you can drink wine, detoxify and revel in your manhood.

Ulta

I Dew Care Let’s Get Sheet Faced Sheet Mask Set

Glossier

Glossier Mask Duo

Sephora

Langeige Water Wonderland

Ulta

Tonymoly Moisture Boost Hydrogel Eye Patches

Violet Grey

Necessaire The Body Lotion

Maude

Maude Massage Oil No. 0

Bathing Culture

Big Dipper Mineral Bath

Crown Affair

Crown Affair The Hair Towel

Parachute

Parachute Classic Bathrobe

Brooklinen

Brooklinen Scented Candle Set

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