John von Tesmar on Windseeker

Kiteboarding! A sport that celebrates the individual and pits man against nature, even though the closest most men get is shivering through a group class, shamefully clutching a Groupon.

Don’t go with those sheeple, friend. Go with Captain John von Tesmar, now taking reservations for private lessons and jaunts.

Not actually a biplane ace from the Weimar Republic (but that name, that name!), von Tesmar is a licensed sea captain with over thirteen years of wind- and kitesurfing instruction. 

And if you’re game, he’ll school you in kiteboarding as he rides alongside in his 21′ powerboat, keeping in touch via a mic in your helmet.

He’ll attach a GoPro to your sail, too.

The Captain offers something for every level of windseeker, frombasic board and kite-flying skills to advanced instruction and expeditions for the seasoned pro.

And of course, he’s got all the equipment you need, including an exclusive KitePole rig for learning board skills.

He even offers hydrofoil board lessons. 

You can find John at the Treasure Island Marina, or have him pick you up at a convenient pier. 

That’s personal service. This ain’t no group class.