Nine Real, Live, Sex-Having Women Dish on Threesomes

Because three can be a party or a problem

By Shari Gab

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12 July 2017

Threesomes aren’t rocket science. But they sure as hell feel like they are.

So we asked nine real, live, sex-having women what they think on the matter:

Would you? Have you? How did it go?

And all the (sometimes) uncomfortable parts before, after and in between.

Eve, 29, Real Estate Broker
Got this boyfriend 
“I've asked. I’m happily in love for over three years and I've always asked that if it should arise, it can be discussed. Consider your partner’s feeling, but draw boundaries. I’ve never had one, though. Still figuring out the unknown variables. It only takes the one to tear it all apart — and I’ve been on both sides of that. However, has there been a night or two where I've seen a girl across a room and had a serious conversation with myself about those possibilities? Yes. And have I turned to my man and suggested the same and on delivery he's chickened? Yes. We're both very, very bad at sharing.”

Frances, 32, Creative Consultant
Married and stoked about it
“If a married woman says she is completely comfortable with it, she's lying. She’s discovered bisexual feelings she is confused about, or has secretly been considering divorce. It could work in a married relationship where the couple agreed to that lifestyle before they got married, otherwise, bet on jealousy, secrecy, competitiveness. Women are crazy, and I'm okay admitting that. I've had one. In college. Two guys and me. They didn't do anything with each other.

I was in an experimental phase of my life and I had no serious emotional ties to either of them. It was fun. But I could NEVER ever ever see myself having one with another woman and my husband. I'm a cut-a-bitch type of gal.”

Lily, 27, Marketing Coordinator
My Facebook status says 'Single'
“I haven't had one! To be honest, I have no real interest. I'm too jealous.”

Otto, 35, Magazine Editor 
He's the still point of the spinning Earth 
“I let go of jealousy in my 20s. But truth be told, no one gets enough attention in threesomes. Keep the conversation open, though, as a service to your relationship. That’s my advice. Attraction to others will happen because you’re human. A nice rule: Bring it home. Another nice rule: Be careful what you ask for.”

Ashley, 30, Publicist
He liked it. He put a ring on it. 
“I’m engaged now and I would do it again because I imagine we will want to do some extraordinary things. If my guy wanted one, I would want him to be honest, but we would talk through the comfort levels beforehand. I was drunkenly involved with two females and one male once back in the day  — wait — does that count as an orgy? It was a beautiful disaster.”

Andrea, 30, Producer
Madly in love
“Welp, never had one. But would love to explore it. FFM for sure. Honestly, I don't know if I could watch my bae with another chick. I would be okay with them rolling around a bit, but selfishly, I think it would be more for me. I also wonder if it would end up creating resentment … and I don’t want it bad enough to risk that. So I'm good. The risk just isn’t worth the reward.”

Nicole, 46, Dermatologist
Back on the market
“My very wonderfully compliant friend recently had a girlfriend of three-and-some-change years. She wanted a threesome. He, not being the jealous type in the least, sought out a male friend for the occasion. They all met. She left him for their potential threesome partner before the deed. And now, the unicorn and she are in love. This isn’t a warning against threesomes. This is a testament to the idea that motive should be discussed to its fullest beforehand. Some people have one foot out the door and one foot on a banana peel, but they don’t have the balls to not make a break-up their own doing. Crafty motherf*ckers, so far as I see it.”

Mona, 28, Content Strategist 
Feeling out the scene
"I've had a couple threesomes. It's always been me plus two guys. Although it was nice to feel adored and have all the attention on me, I don't think I'd want to do it with two guys again. It honestly wasn't anything mind-blowing or special. I'd definitely be interested to see what it's like have a threesome with a guy and a girl, though."

Sarah Griffin, 31, Cowgirl
Who's askin'?
"Threesomes are always glorified in porn and pop culture, but hopefully everyone realizes that these hardly portray reality. I have been a part of several threesomes, in and out of relationships. F*cking someone else with my partner in the room has never been enjoyable. I'm not saying it can't be done, it just hasn't been my experience. The most fun has been had when it's three single people who know each other fairly well. This allows for minimal hurt feelings and open lines of communication. Free-flowing conversation is a necessity for a successful and pleasurable threesome. You need to be able to communicate in the moment if something isn't working or if something else might feel better. Don't ever agree to a threesome for someone else's benefit. It will most likely end in tears. The point of sexual exploration is to experience new pleasures and find out what works for you. Try things out and figure out what feels good. Most importantly, have fun with it and always use protection!"

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